I cried today

taken from my live journal (November 2005)

You know, the hardest part of being a parent is seeing your kids hurting and not being able to fix it.

I can't imagine how it must be for a parent to watch their terminally ill child painfully and valiantly fend off the inevitable.

While I have been blessed with four healthy children, I still hurt when they hurt.

I feel an overwhelming sense of powerlessness which borders on anger and compares to little else. There are life lessons to be learned, decisions to make, consequences to suffer and sometimes our children follow our footsteps through the school of hard knocks. There are natural disasters, situations beyond our control, and everyday life to be lived. You know the old adage, "Life is what happens when you are making plans." Or, how about this one: "If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans."

There is also the simple fact that often times we must simply accept things we can't change. However, having not only said all of this, but hopefully instilling these simple realities into my children, sometimes something happens that just defies reason. All of my children are very special, loving, and sincere human beings. They also possess more wisdom than most adults I have had the pleasure of dealing with.

Recently, the parents of one of my children's friends decided that their child was to no longer have any contact what-so-ever with my child. They were quite verbal about the situation to their child, but have yet to contact me. The things that were said about my child were ugly and judgemental...not one single incident of bad behavior or disrespect....just opinions and the final ultimatim. Needless to say, my child was crushed by this...so was his friend. Unfortunately, for the other parents involved, my son has more wisdom in his pinky finger than they have accumulated in their 40 some odd years on this planet.

Since the ultimatim, the friend has repeatedly gone behind her parents' backs and contacted my son. While I would never, under any circumstances, condone a child blatantly disobeying a parent, I will not stop her from calling or writing to my son. She is a preciuos child, who cares deeply for him...they are quite close. They understand each other...and that is important to kids...to be understood by someone.

I feel pity for these adults who were unwilling to spend the time it takes to get to know my son; they are missing out.

Tonight, I took my son to the theater to meet his friend. She got away from her folks once again...what a shame that it has come to this. She sneaks around in order to spend moments with him. After the movie, while I waited for them to say their goodbyes, I cried. She clung to him...trying to squeeze in a few more forbidden seconds. These children are not lovers, please don't misunderstand. Just two kids who care about one another and it broke my heart. I wanted to put her in my pocket and keep her safe from the cold, uncaring words and actions of the two people on this planet who are supposed to care for her and tend to her. I am certain they provide for her physically...but emotionally? They are clueless.

I know this is not a modern Romeo and Juliett...but I cried today because two very special people I care about were hurting.

Phyl~

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