Hate Hurts...Celebrate Diversity(2000)

In my opinion, the color of skin is not a reason for dissension, but instead it is a chance to celebrate diversity. As a peach/pink/beige/white parent to four beautiful brown/beige/tan/black children, I have seen racism rear its ugly head in our lives quite often. My children have been hurt by it...physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Hate Hurts is our families challenge to you. We challenge you to do more than spread the love. We challenge you to help stop hate and to celebrate diversity

Hate, in all forms, is ugly and it is wrong. I am raising my 4 bi-racial children in a neighborhood where my 2 sons get spit on, called racial names, beat up, and generally abused. My daughters were verbally abused, never physically. Moving is NOT an option. All children have a right to the better school systems and neighborhoods. All children have the right to walk to and from school without fearing for their safety....my sons do not enjoy this luxury. In order to protect them, I now have to drop them off and pick them up everyday. This is supposed to be one of the "better" neighborhoods.

When we first moved here, I decided to take over the newly vacated position of Brownie Troop leader for the 1st grade. I was not informed of it at the time, but the woman who was my "supervisor" received threats on her life and various other harrassing things from outraged parents. Several parents withdrew their kids from the troop. I then proceeded to run one of the most productive and fun troops this area had seen in a long time. The most exciting thing our Troop did during my two years of leadership was to host a multi-cultural event "Smiles Come in All Colors" where we invited people of diverse heritage to come, set up a booth and to share their rich history, customs, games, crafts, and foods with all of the Troops who attended. It was a wonderful evening for all. I stepped outside to cry half-way through the evening....tears of gratitude. At some point during all of this, the local paper printed a picture of me and my daughter, Phylicia, at another multi-cultural event on their FRONT page. Not a soul in this town could have missed our picture! Again, more tears of gratitude. (When the local paper printed a picture of a bi-racial couple who had made it as prom king and queen, they received bomb threats. How terribly disgusting.

Even as a child, prejudice was never an option to me...hating someone who was different than I was, simply failed to make sense to me. I didn't even realize that my own father was prejudice until I got a pen-pal from Ghana when I was 13. I was absolutely fascinated with life in Africa. My father, however, was not impressed with this new friendship. When he began making racial slurs against a popular black country singer whose voice and music my mother loved, I began to respond to his ignorance. We had many heated debates about the ignorance of a decision and behaviors based on fear. I could not change him, but at least he knew where I stood.

Last year, on the way home from school, my 8 year old son, Alijah, was chased down, beat up, and then urinated on all the while he was being called racial slurs. The oldest abuser in this situation was 10 years old. It does not naturally occur to a child to urinate on another.

One mother told my oldest son, Martail, in front of her own two children, "Tell your mother to take you back to the 'inner-city' where you belong

This behavior is taught, handed down from generation to generation, and it breaks my heart that these same kids will someday have to pay for what an adult has taught them. Hate can and must be stopped. I choose to show these abusive children love when I see them. The best I can hope for is that they see the love and it makes a difference.

I do, however, file legal charges when appropriate. Am I always satisfied with the results of filing these charges? Absolutely not. My family is not going to take the abuse lying down, although I do feel very limited in my choices to combat this situation. I also make it a point to contact the school principal when necessary. Somehow these actions have to make a difference, if in no other way than to show my children where my convictions lie.

It is very difficult to teach my own children to be accepting of the differences between themselves and others and that we must choose first to forgive and secondly to celebrate diversity when they suffer at the hands of children who were taught differently. It would be so easy to find bigger kids to beat up these abusive children. But, seriously, what would that teach my children? I never want them to think that violence is a viable solution.

HOW YOU CAN HELP:
In real life, do not wait until personal circumstances force you to take action. As a child, do not wait to be taught. Learn about the differences in yourself and others. Cultivate a hunger within yourself to know more and decide to celebrate diversity. The choice is yours. The U. S. Department of Justice has a wonderful site with ideas and resources to help you get actively involved in stopping the hate. You are never too young to help! Also, if you witness a hate motivated crime, tell an adult who will help. If you have the chance to be-friend someone different than you, by all means, do so. You will be richly rewarded. Be careful to avoid anti-hate groups who actually promote hate themselves. Hate, in all forms, is wrong.

As a parent, teach your children to appreciate the differences in all of us and to celebrate them. Children learn by example...so be certain to celebrate diversity yourself. If you have the chance to be-friend someone of a different race, or whose ethnic background, sexual persuasion, or religious preference is different than yours, by all means, seize the opportunity. You will be richly rewarded. Also, be prepared for questions! Children are by nature very curious. Keep the answers honest and simple. One little girl, walking behind my daughter, Phylicia, in kindergarten, leaned close and asked her, "Do you like being black?" Phylicia's reply: "Sure. Do you like being white?" Out of the mouths of babes!

Thank you so much for your help in stopping the hate. We can beat this evil, one person at a time

Sincerely,

Phyl~

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