Because people need to know how we feel about them while they are living.

Because people need to know how we feel about them while they are living.

Of course, Alan and I grew up together. I am the oldest of 5 and Alan is the third child and second son.

When he was born, Alan had palorix-denosis...which prevented his food from going from the small intestine to the large one. Well, I was seven years old and wanted the baby to wake up and play. So, having no concept of hurting the baby, I wiggled him in an attempt to wake him as he slept in his bassinet. Unknown to me, my father had witnessed this little scene. When he demanded to know what was I doing, I was scared and I lied. Well, let's just say that my little brother began teaching me life lessons at a very young age. I got spanked twice...once for disturbing the baby and once for lying. (To this day, I believe Alan took notes because he grew up to be the most honest human being I have ever met!)

Even as a young child, Alan always wanted to be an individual. He often told Mom that just because he got a popsicle didn't mean everybody had to have one.

Alan rarely, if ever, experienced difficulty expressing himself. When he contracted Kawasaki's Disease and was hospitalized, our neighbor, Dr. Thomas, stopped in to check on him. When the good doctor asked Alan if there was anything he could do to help, Alan confided in him that he would love to have some chicken noodle soup. On his way home, Dr. Thomas stopped at the store and purchased fresh chicken, veggies, and some noodles. His wife then proceeded to make a pot of homemade chicken noodle soup. Well, the Alan Lough we all know and love, took one bite of the soup and said, "Hey! This isn't Campbell's!"

As we grew up, things changed. I married and moved out; Scott went into the Army. Our parents relationship, which had always been rocky, finally ended in divorce. Suddenly, Alan became the oldest child. At the age of 15, he worked after school. Mom often told me of how on payday, Alan would cash his check, buy each of them a carton of cigarettes,and then left the remainder of his pay for her to use in the support of himself, Donnie, and Danny. Due to the circumstances of life, Alan quickly became a father-figure to the two younger boys.

At the age of 17, he decided that no woman, and especially not HIS sister, should go through childbirth alone. He became my labor coach. Throughout the entire pregnancy, Alan took excellent care of me...defended me in a nasty family argument, rubbed my back when it ached, took me to the doctor and to our childbirth classes. Let's not forget my personal favorite: whenever I would be washing dishes, he would walk up behind me and wrap his arms around me and the baby to make sure I knew I was loved. He hung in there till the end. On June 10, 1984, Alan stood by my side and coached me through the delivery of Alana Lenise. He was the first person to hold her and to this day, holds a very special place in both of our hearts.


Needless to tell you, Alan and I became very good friends. I learned very quickly that he says what he means and means what he says. Immense respect for this man came naturally.

I can (and do) tell him my deepest innermost feelings, fears, and deeds. He has never judged me or stopped loving me. Whenever I need him, he is here. Our family was always physically affectionate, and somehow one "Alan Lough" hug can make things look better.

Once when I was the victim of domestic violence, he risked his own life by coming to get the children and me and taking us to a battered women's shelter. How could I ever repay that?

In 1992, the sudden death of our brother, Donnie, affected him very deeply. Having been like a father to the boys, this was in many ways like losing a son. However, over time, Alan was able to carry on, keeping with him the memories of someone very precious to him.

When my third child was one month old, Alan married Ginger(&Josh). Our brother, Danny, took the opportunity afforded him as Alan's best man to pay tribute to the contribution Alan had made in his life. "I know that Alan and Ginger will be great parents. I have seen her with Josh and Alan has always been like a father to me." There was hardly a dry eye in the place.

Alan and Ginger wanted to have a child and went to great lengths with no success. Finally, I told him, "You do your part and I am going to stand on the scripture where God promises that we can be fruitful and multiply." He agreed!

Some time later, he called and said that Ginger was on the extension and that I had better sit down because they had something to tell me. I was so frightened I couldn't breathe. Instead of bad news, Alan had wonderful news: Ginger was pregnant!!! I laughed, I cried, I screamed, I jumped up and down, I dropped the phone. It was all I could do to say, "Thank you, Jesus."

On March 31, 1994, another phone call came...more good news: the baby was coming! They allowed me to be at the hospital and be one of the first people to see the proud Daddy as he held his daughter for the very first time. I then got to hold Shauna Lea and take pictures of her very first moments. What an incredible honor this was .

Alan Lough is a man who is unashamedly himself. Although I have mercilessly teased him about never having developed the art of using tact, I have never had to wonder where I stood with him. More than once we have confronted one another saying, "Okay. We have a problem. Do you love me enough to work this out?" We have always worked it out. If he is wrong, he admits it. If I am wrong, he graciously accepts my apology, and maybe more importantly, he never brings the subject up again. (I am not so polite...I never miss the chance to harrass him about the time he jumped up and popped me in the mouth...hehe.)

On February 12, 1998, I had the unfortunate task of calling him to inform him that our mother was being rushed to the hospital. Even through the sheer insanity of the next week, Alan took care of me. While we camped out at the hospital, he made sure I ate and forced me to rest. He also gave me constant permission to do whatever I needed to do in the way of grieving, reminding me that I was not obligated to do what other people expected of me, but should instead do what was necessary for myself. When it came time to walk away from our mother's casket for the very last time, it was Alan who gave me the strength to do so.

Alan is a passionate man who has the ability to face life on life's terms. He is a deeply spiritual man. His deep convictions are what have made him the man he is today...a rock of Gibralter with a heart of gold.

Over the years, I have done my brothers a great injustice. Although I knew they loved me, I never felt it. I apologize for my blindness. To you, Alan Lough, I have this to say, " I apologize. You have always loved me and loved me well. Any woman would be proud to call you "Brother". I am grateful to God that He gave you to me. Thank you for being not only my brother, but also my dearest friend.

I love you, Siss."

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