Tribute to my Mom

This is the message the preacher gave at Mom's funeral. (1998)

As we remember Carol, let us call to mind the ways God's love triumphed in her life. I invite you to recall those precious memories of Carol that are special to you...to remember what was important to her. What were the themes of her life?

Carol was born March 12, 1940, in East Cleveland. This coming March, she would have celebrated her 58th birthday.

Carol was the daughter of Aaron Carl and Ruth (Stroud) Schuman. She was the seventh of 12 children. When she was 7 years old, her family moved form Bedford to the rural town of Jewitt in southern Ohio. Early in her life, she learned how to be a survivor. In a large and unashamedly poor family, she learned the importance of loving and caring for her brothers and sisters. She also learned how to "go on and be happy" when life dealt her a difficult hand.

Carol quit school in the ninth grade, but later returned to school to get her GED. What a proud moment that was for her.

In 1959, at the age of 18, Carol married Philip Hale Lough. Together they had five children: Phyllis, Scott, Alan, Donnie, and Danny. At its best,the marriage was rocky and Carol frequently found it necessary to pack up the children and move. The family had many homes... moving all over the eastern U.S. They spent time in the Oakland, Maryland, area and eventually Carol returned to Ohio with her kids...to start life over.

Carol knew the struggles and grief of 3 divorces. However, the deepest grief of her life was the sudden death of her son, Donnie, in 1992. The loss of her son literally took the wind out of her sails and she spoke frequently about wanting to be reunited with him.

In 1989,she recovered from 2 heart attacks. But in 1994 a series of strokes left her with one of the most serious challenges of her life. Remarkably, she came back a long way from the strokes...even learning to walk with only the assistance of a cane. In the midst of these struggles, Carol made it quite clear that the quality of life was very important to her. Under no circumstances was she to be kept alive by machines.

Following the onset of yet another heart attack and stroke, Carol was admitted to the hospital on February 12. This combination painfully took away all hope of recovery and Carol died on Sunday, February 15, 1998.

Some would say that Carol didn't have it easy...that she didn't get many breaks in her life. Yet through it all she kept her hope in a better day. She survived. She tried hard not to be vengeful. She kept her sense of humor regardless of what was going on and we can't really celebrate her life without saying that she was ornery. She was passionate in her love and in her opinions. This was part of the joy of knowing and loving Carol.

Her life, difficult as it was, still had it's pleasures. Without a doubt, the greatest joy in Carol's life was her children and grandchildren. The light in her soul just seemed to light up whenever she was with her family. She was a wonderful mother and grandmother.

As for pleasures...Carol loved her Doral Light 100 cigarettes and Mc Donald's coffee. No one was going to change this. She could have owned stock in the bubble gum and tootsie roll industries, in Pizza Hut and Mc Donald's. As a collector, she amassed quite the assortment of geese, angels, and Santa Claus'. She couldn't have lived without her telephone because that was how she stayed connected to her loved ones.

Two lessons came to mind as you described Carol's life. The first is to love one another and allow others to love you. The second lesson is to survive...to go on and be happy.

We give thanks to God for the many ways that his love and grace triumphed in her life. May God's light continue to shine in the world through us as we honor Carol. I invite you to honor Carol's memory. We learn about love and life from those who have gone on before us. If you have seen virtue and love in this woman's life, then the greatest tribute to Carol's life would be to pass onto others what you have received from her.

On February 18, 1998, we laid our Mother to rest beside her son, and our brother, Donnie Lough. It was as she wished.

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