At this moment

Wow~ That picture really got the "churn and burn" going! I am aging, which in the over all scheme of life is no surprise.

What is surprising is my reaction to it. I feel like the same person-I am the same me-that I always was. But, not when I look into the mirror. It's not even about being mad cause I look like my mom, which I don't...it's about NOT looking like me anymore.

In retrospect, I was quite the beautiful young woman. It didn't hurt that I was physically pretty, but even more than that...I glowed with youth. My eyes sparkled-my smile sparkled...I looked so alive.

I have never been one to hide my state-of-being very well so when I am stressed or tired, it shows on my face. Add a few wrinkles, some sagging, and a furrowed brow and there goes the photo shoot.

Physical ailments only make it worse. I am tired most of the time...weary, in fact.

Sadly, when I was young, I had no idea of how those fun days in the sun would come back to haunt me. Youth and beauty are so wasted on the young!

I would like to wax philosophical and boldly announce that it's what's on the inside that counts. While that does count, we live in a society that places high value on positive physical attributes or the lack thereof.

My Grandpa told me once, "Honey, beauty is only skin-deep and some folks have mighty thin skin." As it came from him, I took it to heart; so why this wrestling that I am doing?

I have always(or at least since hormones kicked in) had a love-hate relationship with my body, but now my face is turning on me, too. And, I just don't like it!

I know that acceptance is the key here and I am no stranger to The Serenity Prayer. Look out, Lord, it's me again!

By the way, lest you misunderstand...I am not a Barbie-wannabe. I just would like to feel beautiful again. Right, wrong, or indifferent...I miss my beauty; I miss my youth.
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If this post leads you down a similar path of self-discovery, put a link to your post in the Mr. Linky and leave a comment:).

Enjoy the journey~